Baffled by Boundaries? Start Here.

I recently hosted a popup Facebook group, which I called the Dance Studio Culture Cure, and it was three days of tips, techniques and resources us dance educators can use to build a positive, happy, and feel-good dance studio, and class environment.

One of the biggest questions I kept hearing from dance teachers and dance studio owners was…

“How do I create and maintain healthy boundaries with dance parents?”

Boundaries are a hot topic these days… as our lives are flooded with screen time, to-do lists, relationships, plus our work, home lives, and attempting to take care of ourselves, creating boundaries is a must, but many of us are baffled by where to start, and how to do it.

And there’s another group of folks who have managed to set some boundaries, but struggle to maintain them. They put the rules in place to not work as much, not condone gossip, to delegate some of their work (fill in the blank), but after awhile, find themselves right back where they started, more confused and frustrated than ever.

There’s a key element to setting, and maintaining your boundaries. If you don’t include this one thing in your boundary making process, you, and your boundaries are toast. It’s my favorite four letter word… can you guess it?

LOVE.

If you’re not creating boundaries with the intention of love, they don’t really have a fighting chance of surviving. I’ve learned this first hand myself, so you’re not alone if this is blowing your mind right now.

Here’s an example:

If I want to create a boundary with a dance parent who’s constantly emailing, calling, and texting me all hours of the night, it’s essential that I create a boundary not from a place of attack (‘Ugh. WHYYYYY is this mom always bothering me? She’s totally effing up my night and my mood all the time. She’s so aggressive!’), but from a place of love, like this…

‘I realize you have questions you want answers to, but when you email, text and call in the evening, when I’m with my family, it makes me feel anxious, and unable to enjoy my time with my family. Instead, please call or email between 9-2 during any weekday and I’ll be happy to help you.’

This is a lesson I’ve learned from the wonderful Gabby Bernstein, I highly recommend her work!

So, will you be giving this new technique with boundaries a try? I’d love to know in the comments below!