The #1 Thing We Get Wrong About Body Positivity

Body positivity is one of those words that’s been trending in recent years. Yet it’s also one of those terms that we may talk about, and hashtag about, but not really know what it means.

My understanding of body positivity is that it’s part of a larger movement that encourages putting an end to body shame, unrealistic beauty standards and imaging, and violence against all bodies. The body positivity movement is an intersectional one; there’s a diverse group of people from various backgrounds that use this platform to raise awareness about the injustices that bodies outside of the ‘norm’ experience everyday.

Where things can go awry is when we talk about body positivity in the same way we often talk about self care. Self care has become a catch all phrase for bubble baths, face masks, and general ‘treat yo’self’ routines, when in fact, self care is (and should be) much more than that. Accessible mental health services, accessible healthy food options, paid time off - these are also things that need to make their way into our definition of self care, but rarely do, because Instagramming a lush bath tub with flowers, bubbles and wine is way sexier.

Similarly, body positivity isn’t just about always feeling good about the skin you’re in or the body you have. It’s not all about posting inspiring or inclusive quotes on social media. It’s about supporting the deeper work and highlighting the people who’s bodies have been marginalized and uncared for.

Plus, it’s just not realistic to be ‘body positive’ every day. Especially for folx who are healing from eating disorders, or who are living with disordered eating or exercising habits (many dancers fall into this category), some days it feels impossible to feel good about your body, much less feel positive about it.

So while body positivity should be about understanding the deeper whys of the movement and working to change the systems that oppress bodies, it should also be about respecting bodies on the days when feeling positive just isn’t possible.

That’s why every online class, workshop, or training I do on this topic starts with respect. It’s really hard to feel positive about your body if you don’t first respect it.

And for dancers, who have spent most of their lives and careers training their bodies, looking in mirrors at their bodies, and being told, or telling themselves, that this, that, or the other needs fixing, respect can feel very elusive.

So how do we build body respect on the way to body positivity?

Gratitude.

For me, gratitude is the answer. Because no matter where you are on your journey with your body - whether you’re having a great day and feel awesome in your skin, or whether you’re having a day on the verge of tears and avoiding all mirrors, we can all pause, take some deep breaths, and muster some gratitude for the fact that our blood is pumping and our lungs are breathing. We can all find a bit of peace and gratitude for the fact that even after all our bodies have been through, they’re still here with us, breathing and living, and wanting to keep going.

That’s a beautiful starting point.

And if you want some help starting a gratitude practice, my 28 Gratitude Challenge for Dancers + Teachers is now available, along with my Affirmation Advent Calendar.

OR, join my Dancer Wellness Webinar, Saturday Dec 5 @ 10a EST! We’ll be talking about how to keep our dancers well as we continue to navigate this pandemic, and you can count on me talking a lot about gratitude and body kindness (and giving you some awesome tools, activities and worksheets you can use with your dancers)!

I hope you’ll remember that the next time you see #bodypositivity, or the next time you have a dancer tell you she feels fat. These are big and daunting feelings, these are big and daunting issues facing our world and dance community. And yes, they need to be faced, head on, and the going will be rough.

On those days, take a deep breath and find a bit of softness and gratitude for your beautiful body. Rinse, and repeat, and keep going. We might get a lot wrong on the way there, but one right thing at a time will keep us on the path.